The Scranton Government Guide To Stealing Property

Want to know an easy way to get a home without paying for it? Good! The Scranton government in Pennsylvania has a sure-fire way to steal homes from citizens without any hold up. How? Follow the easy steps outlined in this article and you too can steal homes with the best of them

Step 1: Corrupt A Local Government

You have to make sure that you have complete control of a local government where no one is really paying too much attention. You can use culture, community and party politics to hide your true aims of obtaining complete government powers. Infiltrating things like unions, government institutions and local policy boards will also be a big help.

Step 2: Create laws that only favor you and your government cronies

You have to make sure that all the laws you create benefit yourself and the people who are in cahoots with you. After all, why did you go through all the work of infiltrating the government if not to make as much money as possible? Sure, you could have went into the private sector but to succeed there requires talent and ability. To succeed in a corrupt environment only requires you to be gutless, feckless, immoral and without a conscience. If that sounds like a good trade-off than you have the right mindset.

Step 3: Enforce Corrupt laws and use the court system to protect you

After you create laws that favor you, the local government, and your buddies, make sure you only vote in judges that have your back or your plan can unravel. You can use the union to do this and claim that you are trying to uphold “working class” values. As far as you are concerned, the public is too stupid to see through your corrupt scheme. And if they do see through your scheme, just use threats, laws or intimidation to silence them. Eventually, people will move away and those who cannot will be trapped.

Step 4: Getting Those Homes

So you are walking down the street and see a house you want. Sure, it may belong to an old lady who is living on a fixed income, but as we stated before you have no conscience. You are going to get that house regardless of any moral or ethical qualms. OK, so you follow this exact process, it already works in Scranton so it has been tested.

  1. Have the house condemned for any reason because you already passed ordinances that allow you to do just that
  2. Make it the law to force the home owner to put up $10,000 in escrow while the house goes through “Inspections”
  3. Don’t worry they must have the house inspected by your friends in the government so the house will never pass inspection….. Good thing you make the laws!
  4. Also few people have $10,000 lying around, so you will be able to have the house just by that technicality alone.
  5. Even if they do put up the 10k, the house will revert back to its initial designation in six months. This means that rental properties will no longer be allowed to be rented out as a multi-dwelling.
  6. If the homeowner tries to contest this injustice, just use your friends in the court system to silence them



That little old lady will not know what hit her! And you will be able to have your hands on the beautiful home she spent her whole life working for because your parents raised you wrong and you have no soul. Good thing that the no one knows about this plan because it would be really embarrassing if someone exposed this to the nation. It could really expose you to harsh criticism, law suits and the ire of the public. Let’s just hope no one finds out this little scheme. Let’s keep it between just you and me.

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